Writing for Comedy

After much thought about what will happen to my reputation for classiness, I have decided to audition for the Great American Trailer Park Musical. Don't have a clue what the director is looking for and as usual with community theater, casting will be totally dependent on the look and age of the men who show up. After spending several hours over two days looking for a one minute female comedic monologue, I have discarded all the Shakespeare and Moliere chuckle moments and decided to write my own. I may have to write a play around it some day. It is meant to be performed in a "country" accent for this audition. I'll let you know how it goes--oh yeah, I have to sing and dance a bit too--singing, easy, dance--hahaha.

Comedic Monologue for Mature Woman
Well my doctor says I have to lose weight…again. I have lost this (pointing to her backside) at least five times in my lifetime, once left it in a commune in Wyoming. I think his name was River or Rapture, or maybe that is what he kept saying as I was losing my butt. Anyway, I found it again, thanks to The View and the Encore Romance channel. At my age romance is more easily found with a big bucket of Kentucky Fried and a double macchiato with extra caramel. Trouble is that I keep finding more of my backside there. You would think I be able to package this up and sell it on the home shopping network. Live at 5, Big Beautiful Butt with stories to tell. I certainly do have an abundance of product. Anyway I have signed up for Pilates…you know pilates—that work out class where they squeeze big balls between their legs. My thighs will soon be stronger than Cher’s, Tina Turner’s and Madonna’s. I think River would approve. copyright 2009 vickers